7:24 am: Wake up. Realize it’s later than you thought. Run to check on the kid — sorry, Grogu — only to remember that he’s at Jedi college and you’re alone again. Weep openly and uncontrollably.
8:00 am: Stand in the bathroom. Take off your helmet. Decide the beard doesn’t feel like you anymore. Shave it off. “This is the way” you repeat to yourself in the mirror.
8:30 am: Take a quick jog around the Mos Eisley Spaceport. Was this beskar armor always this heavy? Need to get Boba Fett’s routine because he keeps it tight. Check your heart…
Gatorland — where theme park meets wildlife preserve for over 2,000 alligators — is once again open for 7 days a week with COVID safety precautions! https://www.gatorland.com
Hello human friend! Is me! Alligator from favorite place- Florida! I live at “theme park” called Gatorland. Is cool! We called “Alligator Capital of the World.” So true! But gators miss you! We miss you big time so we learn how write. Still we no see you. Only see “skeleton crew” of Mark, Susan, and Julio. Just friend meat snacks, you know? So what going on here at Gatorland? Let us show!
We ain’t doing it this year.
You stick your dirty hand in my goddamn hole and I swear to God I will bite that shit off up to your elbow. You wanna fuck around and find out?
Seriously you gonna make me put down my hoagie and climb out of my burrow? In this economy? In a pandemic? In February? In this year of our lord (if he is even listening I swear to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph) 2021?! You are the biggest jagoff I have ever seen.
I might be a lil’ whistlepig that does fortune telling tricks…